Fuck the Poor, says C4

Dear god, has anyone else witnessed the horror that is The Coach Trip, the latest reality show to hit Channel Four? I think it's on at about 7.30 or 8 in the morning. Maybe there's something about being up that early that makes me more able to appreciate the full tragedy of the situation, but I think it's the first time that your normally even-tempered writer has ever been genuinely offended by reality TV.

In a nutshell, the concept is this: 14 Brit holidaymakers (I can see you cringeing already) are brought on a six-week coach trip around Europe, seeing some of the most beautiful sights on offer around several different countries. Except, backpackers found too annoying or unpopular are regularly voted off the bus by their fellow passengers and sent home.

Putting aside for one moment how mind-numbingly dull it is to watch total strangers oohing and aahing over monuments and admittedly stunning vistas for 30 minutes you'll never get back, the sheer two-facedness of the show is breathtaking. How can they standthere and tell us that whoever survives the cull the longest and wins the show will have fantastic memories of an idyllic six-week holiday in the sun, when in reality all they'll be feeling is relief that the public humiliation is finally over? All this show does is take people who can't afford a dream holiday, lure them in with the promise of a trip of a lifetime, and then promptly ruin it by threatening to send them home by means of a daily popularity contest! You'll never afford it on your own, Channel Four seems to be saying, so this is the only way you can go, and you can forget about being left in peace to relax and unwind. And what's more, everybody in the country is going to watch your misery and laugh.

Shower of bastards.