Rupert Bear in plastic surgery shock!

Who the hell is this impostor?! Not that I ever considered Rupert Bear to be sexy, but this horrible CGI attempt to make him more "21st century" (note the Converse Allstars) has turned him into a sexless kitten-fart of a character, up there with Pikachu and Tinky Winky for sheer blandness.

But yes, at some point during 2006, we can expect a new and improved (doubt it) series of RB to hit our screens, with Rupert himself surrounded by - wait for it - "a brand new cast of characters". The old ones will still be there, but my god, haven't these people learned that some things are better off left untouched? What next, gangsta rap from Pinky and Perky? A new generation of kids at Degrassi Junior High? (Oh wait, that's already happened. And it's actually not so bad, if you're 12 and from Ontario.)

Still though, the horror! I can't see this one lasting too long. They'd better not be changing the graphics in the books as well, that really would be taking it too far. Too far, I say!